The Heartbreaking Secret Behind The Duggar Family


The Duggar family has been nothing short of controversial. Today we’re going to take a closer look at the family and go deeper. Today we’re going to reveal secrets about the Duggar family you never knew.

The Story Begins

Jim Bob Duggar married his bride, Michelle, when he was just 19 and she was only 17 years old. They had a wedding in 1984 in a local gymnasium with just a few guests and Michelle wearing her mother-in-law’s wedding dress. She even made the cake herself! Years later, her children would have weddings with as many as 1,000 guests due to their celebrity status from reality TV.

The Family Begins

Early in their marriage, Michelle unfortunately suffered a miscarriage. Puzzlingly, the Duggars decided that somehow not practicing any type of family planning whatsoever would be the best response to the tragedy. Meanwhile, the couple adopted strict rules for themselves, from more conservative clothing to other religiously inspired guidelines.

A Popular Question

Many people are quite interested in the strange life of the Duggars, which is largely inspired by the Baptist denomination of Christianity. Their religious beliefs were very much central to the content of their show, 19 Kids and Counting. However, the biggest question they get is always about why they’ve had so many kids.

The Cheerleader

Michelle met Jim Bob for the first time when they were in high school. She was pretty and popular, having performed as part of the cheerleading squad. Jim Bob was impressed right away and acts as if it was her faith, not her looks, that appealed to him. But come on, we all know that no teen is immune to the appeal of the cheerleading skirt.

New Values

Although Jim Bob and Michelle had always been faithful followers of the Christian religion, they started to take their new approach toward having children by the dozen after Michelle’s miscarriage. According to the Duggars, Michelle was on the birth control pill at the time and shouldn’t have even been pregnant in the first place, so they decided to forego birth control in the future.

Michelle’s Faith

Although Michelle has always believed in God, she wasn’t always as strict about her personal behavior as she is now. As a teen, she was more your typical young girl who enjoyed dressing in bikinis and being on the cheerleading squad, which is a far cry from the Michelle that we came to know on TV. What happened that caused this big change?

Mother And Teacher

Both Duggars have had their hands full raising such a large family. While Jim Bob has the hefty responsibility of making enough money to support their huge brood, Michelle has to manage a large household mostly by herself, although the older siblings help. Furthermore, she has taught all of the kids at home, since they opted for homeschooling to keep their kids from being influenced by mainstream values.

Strange Rules

The Duggar kids grew up with certain guidelines for how they wore their hair, dressed, and acted. But the rules went beyond such basic things. In fact, the way the kids played was also monitored by their parents. You wouldn’t find the Duggars playing “house,” that’s for sure. And boys and girls weren’t supposed to play hide and seek together, either. The rules started to make sense after the behavior of their son came to light.

Michelle Stepped Up

Whether you agree or not with Michelle’s decision not to let her children attend public school, you have to admire her dedication. Clearly, she and Jim Bob would not be able to afford private schooling for all of their children, so she would have to handle their eduction. Through her hard work, all of the kids would eventually earn GEDs.

She Remembers Them All

With so many children, you might think that it would be difficult for the Duggars to remember specifically about when each one was born. Michelle tells a different story, though, even highlighting how special her home delivery of her sixth child, Jinger was to her. Sure, family life may not always be perfect, but Jim Bob and Michelle seem to have great memories of the kids.

Do As We Do

Many have been critical of the way that the Duggars have seemingly sheltered their children from the world. One of the ways that the Duggars have done this is through strict rules for their children when dating, which they say must be done “with a purpose.” They want their kids to date with an eye toward marriage, not just for fun.

Strict Dating Rules

Some of the dating rules that the Duggars instituted were pretty extreme. Many of us have heard about how many people prefer to remain virgins until marriage, but the Duggars didn’t want their kids to even kiss anyone until their wedding days! They weren’t supposed to engage in touch until they were engaged, even. However, some of the kids still rebelled.

Watching Every Move

One particularly extreme part of how Jim Bob and Michelle parented their children is that they required constant chaperoning for any face-to-face interactions. In fact, they weren’t even allowed to chat with their love interests without supervision. Ben Seewald once asked for Jessa to “give him a ring,” and Jim Bob replied, “No ring yet.” Creepy!

Big Brother

In the Duggar house, big brother is always watching. Many kids see their first cell phone as an opportunity to escape constant parental micromanagement, but not in the Duggar home! Kids only get their drivers’ licenses in the Duggar home when they start driving by themselves, and even then they must have an app installed to block many activities.

Amy Duggar’s Debut

Amy Duggar livened up the show 19 Kids and Counting quite a bit, but she only ended up being a guest because she was visiting the family’s grandmother when the production team was around. As a far less religious cousin to the family, she was asked to chaperone Anna and Josh Duggar, but she admitted she probably wasn’t the best choice since she doesn’t agree with the need for it.

Unfair For The Girls

Not everyone minded that the Duggars took a conservative approach to parenting. What did rub people the wrong way, however, was how the boys and girls were treated differently. For instance, while Jim Bob had to personally approve every boy who proposed to a Duggar girl after having them answer a bunch of questions, the Duggar boys were free to choose whoever they wanted for a spouse.

A Bit Hypocritical

Jim Bob and Michelle have admitted that they did not date one another in accordance with the rules they’ve set for their children. Michelle in particular said she is embarrassed by how she acted as a teen, even saying she (gasp!) mowed the lawn in a bikini at times. The Duggars believe that it’s most important for girls to dress conservatively, not for boys to manage how they think about the opposite sex.

Neck To Knee

The Duggar parents have explained that they think that girls should be covered up from their necks to their knees. The reason is that if any areas in between are revealed, it may be an act of “defrauding,” they said. Defrauding in this sense means to stir up desires that can’t be fulfilled in accordance with God. Michelle said that God himself told her she needed to cover up more.

Unintended Consequences

There have been some serious issues within the Duggar household, and it’s hard to say whether the extremely strict upbringing of the children helped cause them. In particular, the revelations that Josh had molested some of his younger sisters, and his later infidelities as a married man, may seem to be related to the repressed nature of sexuality in the Duggar home.

Searching For Individuality

In a family as large as the Duggar household, it’s only natural that kids want to find ways to stand out from their siblings. This can be difficult, however, when there aren’t many ways to express yourself. Music had to be Christian contemporary, gospel, or bluegrass within the home, and dancing was forbidden as it may cause sexual desires, according to the Duggars. The kids were allowed to play instruments and that’s about it.

Musical Family

The Duggar kids were musically accomplished, since playing instruments was one of their only real creative outlets. Cousin Amy Duggar was also into music and had a little success as a singer. To hear her tell it, she even went to Nashville and got “several offers” from major record labels. However, the labels all wanted her to capitalize on her reputation as the black sheep of the family and be an “edgy” star, and she said she passed.

Off To A Good Start

Although Josh Duggar would come to be synonymous with all kinds of rather unsavory character traits, his marriage to wife Anna started off splendidly. They met at a homeschooling convention, got married two years later, and had their first child on October 8, 2009. The two seemed very happy, but that was only until Josh’s secrets came to light.


Ladies’ Night

With Josh and his wife Anna retreating from the spotlight, the Duggar girls started to get more of the attention. After all, Jessa Duggar had started dating Ben Seewald after meeting him at church, and many of the other girls were reaching maturity as well, giving the media other things to focus on as Josh tried to escape attention.

A Pair Of Weddings

With so many kids in one family, eventually they’re going to grow up and start getting married! Therefore, it wasn’t entirely unexpected when Jill and Jessa got married within the same year. Jill met Derick Dillard through her father, while Ben and Jessa had dated for some time after meeting at church. Many more weddings were yet to come.

Triplets Incoming

It wasn’t always so bad for Josh and Anna. The two had just announced that triplets were on the way before the truth of Josh’s behavior came to light. Later on, Jill and Jessa announced that they had become pregnant following their weddings. Although things were obviously not so great in the Duggar household, Jim Bob and Michelle were happy about the grandchildren.

An Unhappy Union

While it seemed like Josh and Anna had a happy marriage early on, it soon became clear that this wasn’t the case. It wasn’t just what Josh did as a teen, either. After the Ashley Madison scandal, it became apparent that Josh had been on the site looking for women to cheat with. Another source posted to Reddit saying that Josh had been unfaithful. Anna wanted to leave, but her in-laws persuaded her not to, despite Josh’s disgusting behavior.

Back In The Spotlight

When TLC decided to cancel 19 Kids and Counting due to the bad press surrounding Josh’s despicable actions with his younger sisters, it seemed that the Duggars were done being on TV. However, after a while, TLC started a new show, Counting On, that initially focused on Jill and Jessa. Eventually, it expanded its focus on the other older Duggar children, too, although Josh has never been featured.


With the world changing and many people having an opinion on the Duggar family, the parents finally decided to enact a new rule: no social media use was allowed until the kids got married. This meant that some of the older kids, like Jana and John-David, disappeared from the public eye in many ways, as the two are still single to this day.

Now You Do, Now You Don’t

It can be hard to be a Duggar, as evidenced by Josiah’s off-and-on courtship with Marjorie Jackson. Josiah started to post pictures of the two online in 2015, but they called off their relationship in 2016. He had to address the whole matter in People magazine, saying that “she didn’t feel that it was the right timing then.” Yikes.