Somewhere out there, you’ll find an army of MILFs and this woman is the commander. Seeing as she is far from a MILF, we have no idea how she got the job, but just imagine an army of attractive mothers marching in line, doing motherly things and still managing to remain attractive. This wouldn’t be possible without them being under this woman’s command.
Not every nerd can become a digital prophet. This man had to work hard for that title. This took a handful of week-long game sessions with zero sleep, a diet made solely of instant ramen and Dr. Pepper and a social life that consisted completely of internet friends who he never met in real life. One day, local nerd David Shing erected from his mother’s basement, not the socially awkward son she had raised, but a Digital Prophet. He had seen the light.
Bride Kidnapping Expert
While this man may look like a helpless grandpa, he actually has quite a few skeletons in his closet. Wait till his family finds out that he is actually a Bride Kidnapping Expert. When someone around town wants to kidnap a bride, this is the guy they meet through various underworld connections. He’ll have pre-made plans already mapped out for you.
Nope, this isn’t some WB pilot that never took off in the 1999, this is an actual teen with an actual job. Brynee Larson is one of many teenage exorcist. While her job must be extremely interesting, it will never be as amazing as that WB series that we are imagining. Brynne will never have one on one talks with the devil or date some demon that wants to switch sides.
You may walk by Shane Bentley on the Santa Monica pier and figure he is just another fisher, but take a second look. Upon a second glance, you’ll see that he is more than a fisherman, he is a suspicious fisherman. Any crimes in your area, the suspicious fisherman might be the guy to look for. With his shifting eyes he may know something more then he lets on.
you see that face. Look into those eyes and tell me that you don’t see genuine care. He just wants to snuggle with you, make you feel loved and get paid for it. He has had a lifetime or at least twenty years of practice in the snuggling field. If you need a good snuggle, Lonnie will be the man to give it to you.
Writer, Wizard, Mall Santa and Rasputin Impersonator
One has to avoid getting on this guy’s bad side. He isn’t just a writer, but also a wizard, a mall Santa and a Rasputin impersonator. Those are three powerful figures wrapped up into one homeless looking man. He can run circles around you with his magic, withhold any Christmas gifts from you and then write an amazing short story about it. Think you can stop him? Remember he is a Rasputin impersonator.
Some have a fascination with astronomy and other technology. Others find their fascination in bread. The color of bread, the softness, the creation and the very being of bread. While many become a rocket scientist, others become bread scientist. This is where Stan Cauvain comes in. Imagine going out to dinner with this guy. Picture yourself having to listen to a one-sided conversation about bread for hours on in.
Cat Behavior Consultant
With their lifelong teenage mentality, cats can be very tricky. One may never know what’s going on in such a creature’s mind. That’s why there are guys like Jackson Galaxy, Cat Behavior Consultant. With his cold dead eyes and off the wall facial hair, no man understands cats the way he does. It is said that he could read a cat just upon first glance.
Chocolate Beer Specialist
There are two things that everyone loves and those are chocolate and beer. This man did the unthinkable and mixed the two worlds together and garnered a job title that we all envy. He is a Chocolate Beer Specialist. When it comes to knowig the best chocolates and beers he is the man to go to.
Shredded Cheese Authority
You think that cheese is simply shredded and sold? No way! Every single bit of shredded cheese must go under the inspection of Richard Scheurman, the Shredded Cheese Authority. He picks up the cheese, inspects with his magnifying glass and perhaps takes a little nibble. Any piece of cheese that doesn’t make the cut is immediately eliminated. Believe me, he does this in the coldest manner possible. He is the authority and he calls the shots.
Once the prohibition ended in 1933, this poor bloke lost it all. That said, he still can recall the glory days when he used to roll in the hundreds. “Things haven’t been the same since the prohibition came to an end.” He probably says whenever someone asks him how he’s doing.
CEO & Chief Happiness Officer Of Delivering Happiness
The only thing funny about this is that the Jenn Lim, the Chief Happiness Officer of Delivering Happiness doesn’t look like a very happy person. If she showed up at my doorstep, the last thing I’d expect her to deliver is happiness. She looks more like a hack doctor or someone who would hand you a subpoena.
Back when this young man was a mere child, he began having a fascination with Smarties. This fascination grew into a career. Now, while he is world’s only Smarties expert, he probably goes to the dentist on a weekly basis to get a new set of teeth put in and he probably has a bad case of diabetes. It is probably a bad idea to become the expert of anything with that much sugar in it.
Head of Potatoes
Sarah Durdin Robertson isn’t just another girl on the job, she is the head of potatoes. As potatoes get distributed all across the world, it is she and she alone that determines who gets how many. If you do anything to offend her, you may find your country getting no potatoes for a year or maybe you’ll be getting small or rotten ones from the bottom of the batch.
Pork Rind Expert
From an early age, Jim Rudolph knew he would be dedicating his life to pork rinds. A bowl of pork rinds was his number one food choice growing up. As soon as he reached adulthood he would travel the world and try the different kinds of pork rinds being offered. His search for the perfect texture has taken him across Asia and Latin America.
Fun Club President
Many say that you aren’t supposed to have fun on the job. You are supposed to hit the office with a complete all work and no play mentality. Then steps in Howard Phillips, the president of the Fun Club. Has a life a fun had a mental impact on the man? From the smile on his face and erratic eyes, we’d definitely say so. He has a life that is just too much fun.
In Charge Of The Big Door
Somewhere out there is a big door and Ludwig Dahl is in charge of it. With his glasses and tiny mustache, he determines when the big door opens, when the big door closes and who will go through the big door. We don’t even know if he’s been through the big door or if he even knows what’s behind it, but he is in charge of that door. If it needs a painting, he sees it happens.
Chief Of Unicorn Division
Of course, we had to blur out the name and address on this one. If anyone knew where the Unicorn Division was stationed there would be tourist headed there in packs. We only know that it is in Berlin somewhere and that there is a creative director of them. This means that they are creative. Take a moment to imagine unicorn plays and bands.
A Cunning Linguist
Linguist around the world are heavily appreciated. That said, every group had their bad apples. This is where we meet Reinhold, the cunning linguist. His eyes are forever shifty as he delves into a new language. If you need to learn a new language on the down low, he’ll be able to get you set up for the right price. You just have to make sure that you aren’t getting ripped out.
6-Layer Dip Maker
It’s an exhausting job to labor away for hours in the hope of making the perfect 6-layer dip. This isn’t a job that just anyone can do. It takes a woman like Deb Ashman to get the job done. From the looks of her, perfectly accomplishing the 6-layer dip is a science. Deb Ashman know exactly how to fill your mouth with that explosion of flavors.
Bear Biologist And Paperfolder
Anyone can go to college and become a bear biologist, the thing that impresses us is the paper folder title. Just how skilled of a paper folder does one need to be to garner such a title? Did he take his masters in biology and his minor in paper folding? How much does the average paper folder make?
Frozen Banana Expert
When it comes to regular bananas, this woman knows nothing. If you stick that banana in the freezer for a few hours she’ll suddenly be an expert. This woman is the woman to go to if you want to know anything about frozen bananas. She can tell you how long it’ll take for them to defrost. She knows what the different tempratures do to the bananas.
Meet Emflian Collado, he is a professional milk consumer. While we all take part in the occasional glass, Emilian has dedicated his life to drinking milk. It’s been said that he can determine which kind of cow the milk came from by the first sip. He also takes part in drinking milk from other animals. Goats milk, horse milk, and gorilla milk are all common for him.
James Dunstan has no time for the petty problems happening on earth. His cases are all out of this world and I say that literally. James in a space lawyer. If one aircraft crashes into another one, he is on the case. If aliens have a problem with us getting too close to the moon, he’ll set things right. What you are looking at here is the lawyer of the future.
Ranch Dressing Expert
Upon first glance at Derek Gordon, you may not think much of him. He looks a little bored and perhaps even a little unhealthy. Then he opens up and says that he’s a ranch dressing expert and it all makes sense. He will come home from work and talk for hours about the different kinds of ranch dressings.
Centre For Social Justice
There is a lot of injustice in this world and Christian Guy is not going to sit back and take. While he may not look like much, but he is literally the centre for social justice. He doesn’t specialize in one category, he handles it all. In his little heart is an undying flame for humanity. He is 100% concern and zero percent selfishness. Look at that face.
Heavy Makeup Engineer
Anna is representative for every girl you remember back in high school who wore way too much makeup. The ones that would hug you and leave a makeup imprint on your shirt. Anna always had a passion for caking her face is layers of foundation. Today she put that love to use and is a heavy makeup engineer.
The beaver can be a mysterious animal. While some of us deal with beavers more than others, there is still a mystery behind them that we can’t figure out about them. Why do they do the things they do. While we all love beavers, Rick Lanman dedicated his life to beavers and has decided to become an expert.
This man from the late 1980’s or early 1990’s was always a major fan of hotdogs. That said, he decided to become a hotdog choreographer. He makes sure that they get up and dance and give their fans a great show before they go into a bun and into your mouth.